Marriage Takes Work

“For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ.” Jude 1:4

Treating your spouse poorly because he or she can’t leave is like turning the grace of God into lasciviousness. Just as we should do good works after we are saved, we should also do work in our marriages. You’re on your best behavior while dating, but once you’re married, you get more comfortable in knowing that it’s a done deal. Now, that’s a great feeling, but don’t abuse that liberty.

Don’t Assume

Divorce is wicked, and you should purpose in your heart to never put away your spouse, but your husband or wife is not God, and they might break their promise. If your spouse leaves you, it wouldn’t be the first time that a husband or wife left in an IFB church. Even if your spouse seems very spiritual, your marriage might not be as secure as you think.

“Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.” 1 Corinthians 10:12

Women tend to be less direct in the way they communicate, so don’t assume everything is fine just because your wife isn’t complaining. Pay attention to her hints, because she may not be getting what she wants out of the relationship. Making an effort to plan dates with her can go a long way in making her feel loved and appreciated. Often, when a wife leaves or commits adultery, the husband didn’t even see it coming.

“But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:11

Notice it says, “But and if she depart.” That means she might do it!

Ladies, listen to your husband when he tells you there’s a problem. If he has some kind of pet peeve, correcting that thing should be a priority for you.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22

“She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12

Preserve Attraction

Don’t become a slob after you get married, but making yourself appealing to your spouse isn’t only about hygiene and fitness. Staying in your proper roles will go a long away in keeping the attraction alive in your marriage. Men, your wife wants you to be a leader and to provide for her financially. Wives, your husband will find you more attractive when you respect him.

“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” 1 Timothy 5:8

“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

Common Courtesy

How do you speak to your spouse? Are you as courteous now as you were before you were married? Do you treat friends or coworkers better than you treat your own spouse?

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, BE COURTEOUS:” 1 Peter 3:7-8

Get Physical

“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Would you fast more than a couple of days? Stop turning each other down, and you’ll avoid a lot of heartache.

God hates divorce, but Christians are not above committing that sin. Studies show that the divorce rate is just as high among Baptists as it is among the general population. Taking your spouse for granted could someday blow up in your face. Men need to be respected and honored. Wives have a need to feel loved and appreciated. Both need intimacy and quality time together. Is your spouse completely satisfied in the relationship?

Here is a sermon on Turning Grace into Lasciviousness.