The Duties of a Pastor’s Wife

The Bible talks about the offices of a bishop (pastor) and a deacon. These men are supposed to be married, but their wives don’t have any duties other than just being of good behavior and being wives and mothers. Today, a lot of people think of the pastor’s wife as a job title within the church, but I submit to you that the pastor’s wife is just that—the PASTOR’S wife.

In today’s society, too much responsibility is placed on women. The world expects women to have a career and also successfully care for their children and home. This results in a lot of stress and leaves little free time for a wife to spend with her husband. The Bible says that the woman was created for the man and teaches that women should be keepers at home. Being a wife and mother is a full time job. Not only that, but families save money when the wife has enough time to find good deals and cook meals from scratch.

When a husband gets home from work, he looks forward to his wife focusing on him. As a pastor, I’m no different than men with other jobs. My wife has enough to do taking care of our family and home, and at the end of the day, I want her all to myself. I’m not going to burden my wife with a full time job in the church while also expecting her to cook, clean, homeschool the children and spend quality time with me. My wife and I don’t pastor the church—I pastor the church, and I’m not going to work my wife to death.

Many of the jobs typically done by pastor’s wives like cleaning the church building, giving younger women advice etc., can be done by more than one church member. My wife does volunteer a lot of her time for the church planning special events, designing the bulletin, etc., but it’s voluntarily—just like anyone else might volunteer to serve in a church. In different seasons of life, for example when the children are older, ladies might have more time to take on more responsibilities, but many pastor’s wives of all ages are spread too thin. It is perfectly okay if a wife and mother is too busy to volunteer for the church.

People shouldn’t expect a pastor’s wife to be at their beck and call for counseling or whatever else. The next time you feel like giving your pastor’s wife a job to do or somehow feel like you are being neglected by her, remember that she is not YOUR pastor’s wife. She is the PASTOR’s wife.

Here is a sermon on pastors' wives