Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Jealousy in Marriage
People will mistakenly say that jealousy is a sin, but the confusion lies in our modern vernacular where we misuse the word jealous. We jokingly say things like, “I’m jealous of your new car,” but the biblical word for that feeling is envy. When you want something that belongs to someone else, that’s envy. To be envious is to covet or lust after something that someone else has, and that’s wrong.
A lot of people will mock a Christian husband or wife for being “the jealous type,” but jealousy in and of itself is not a sin, and I submit to you that jealousy can be godly. The Bible says repeatedly that God is jealous, and Paul spoke of his own “godly jealousy” in 2 Corinthians Chapter 11:
“For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.” -- 2 Corinthians 11:2-3
Some of you need to get a little godly jealousy! If you let your wife go out to lunch with another man, you’re worldly. The modern philosophy that says it’s okay to have close friends of the opposite gender is a recipe for disaster, and it’s normal for a husband to feel jealous when it comes to his wife.
“But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away. For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.”--Proverbs 6:32-34
The above passage is about a man's jealousy when his wife commits adultery, but the flip side is also true. A wife will also become jealous if her husband is in some way giving his attention to other women. Michal and David’s marriage is an example of a woman being jealous in the Bible.
Most of the time, jealousy in a marriage is justified, but sometimes a husband or wife will go to an extreme. Be jealous, but don't be insanely jealous. Falsely accusing your spouse of cheating or worrying that they may have accidentally looked in someone else’s direction isn’t healthy. If that’s you, you need to get over your insecurity and stop picking fights with your spouse.
Yes, jealousy can cause strife in a relationship, but if your husband is acting jealous, maybe it’s because you are dressing provocatively or having close friendships with other men. Or perhaps your wife resents the fact that you are becoming too close with a female coworker. Confiding in someone of the opposite gender about problems in your marriage is a form of infidelity and can lead to full blown adultery.
It’s okay to be friendly and talk to people of the opposite gender, but always keep things professional. My old pastor used to say that men and women should have “short conversations” with each other. He also said that he never hugged another woman unless she was old enough to be his grandmother. Your wife belongs to you, and you belong to her, so it’s normal for both of you to feel protective of your marriage and try to safeguard it from outside threats.
Here is a sermon to go along with this post