Why I Don't Do Marriage Counseling

I’m not one that does a lot of marriage counseling. If somebody asks me for advice or has a question about marriage, I’ll give them an answer, or if they ask for prayer, I’ll pray for them. That said, I don’t really do marriage counseling in the traditional sense. It’s really a no-win situation for a pastor to get involved in the intricacies of someone else’s marriage.

Most marriage problems can be solved by applying simple, biblical principles, but people aren’t always seeking real solutions. Oftentimes people just want to vent and air their dirty laundry, but I don’t need to know all the sordid details about what people are doing wrong to tell them how to do things right. When someone tells me they are having marital problems, I try to just cut to the chase and offer them biblical advice. I tell them to do X, Y, and Z, and don't come back and talk to me about it again until they have done those things.

When a couple meets with their pastor and takes turns trying to make each other look bad, it can result in a lot of embarrassment and make things worse. A good counselor will avoid taking sides and give advice to both parties, but each spouse is still probably keeping score, trying to determine whose side the counselor is taking.

Each person will try to prove his or her case, and let’s face it, usually both parties are at least partly to blame. When the pastor seems to come down harder on one spouse, that person might be tempted to exaggerate the other person’s faults to try to save face. After all that mud-slinging, both spouses might walk away feeling more animosity toward each other. Not only that, but someone might become angry with the pastor and leave the church. Bad-mouthing your spouse to the pastor just isn’t edifying to anyone.

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29

I don’t need to know every mistake that has been made in your marriage in order to help you. I would rather cut the counseling session short and just tell you how to do things right. In fact, I’d rather skip the counseling session completely and just give the advice to the entire church at one time.

I have preached many sermons on marriage, and I encourage you to listen to all of them if you are struggling in your relationship. Instead of listening to a sermon with your spouse’s faults in mind, focus more on what you can change about yourself.

Here is a sermon on “Marriage Advice.”

Was Adam an Ape?

The best way to read the Bible is just to assume that everything is literal unless it is obvious that something is figurative. A lot of people will do the opposite and say that most of the Bible is figurative, and almost nothing is literal. This is just people wanting to believe in the lie of evolution who think that they can somehow reconcile it with the Bible.

Evolution is shot down in the first chapter of the Bible, which teaches that the days of Creation were literal, 24-hour days and that everything brings forth after its own kind, yet people still fall for the false doctrine of theistic evolution. Phony preachers like Billy Graham will try to compromise and say that perhaps God breathed into a certain ape-man and called him Adam. Many will go a step further and say that the entire story of Adam and Eve is symbolic.

All of the Jewish Rabbis that we spoke to when making the film, Marching to Zion, basically said that Adam and Eve are symbolic because modern-day Jews believe in evolution. Unfortunately, it’s not just the Jews that teach this. Even churches within so-called Christian denominations will teach that the story of Adam and Eve and other major events in the Bible never took place.

How could Adam be a figurative guy if he had children whose names are listed in genealogies leading up to other important events? We know that the Old Testament characters are real since they are listed in detailed genealogies that explain where various nations came from and lay out the very lineage of Christ going all the way back to Adam.The Bible calls Jesus the second Adam, and if you don’t believe that Jesus is a real person, then you aren’t saved. You can’t have it both ways. Obviously, both Adams were literal. Many of the stories in the Old Testament contain symbolism that foreshadowed the coming Messiah, but they are still true stories.

The other problem with saying Adam was some kind of ape is that the Bible teaches that sin entered the world through Adam. If you tried to fit evolution in with the Bible, you’d have all kinds of sin and death happening before Adam ever came on the scene.

“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” Romans 5:12

Here is the sermon Literal vs. Figurative, where I also discuss some things that actually are figurative.

Behemoth and Dinosaurs

“Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox. Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly. He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together. His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron. He is the chief of the ways of God: he that made him can make his sword to approach unto him. Surely the mountains bring him forth food, where all the beasts of the field play. He lieth under the shady trees, in the covert of the reed, and fens. The shady trees cover him with their shadow; the willows of the brook compass him about. Behold, he drinketh up a river, and hasteth not: he trusteth that he can draw up Jordan into his mouth. He taketh it with his eyes: his nose pierceth through snares.” Job 40:15-24

No known living animal fits that description. Commentaries will often say that behemoth was an elephant or hippopotamus. The problem with those theories is that an elephant or hippo’s tail is nothing like a cedar. Behemoth was obviously larger and had a more substantial tail, which is consistent with something more like a brontosaurus. Stay away from commentaries, by the way, since they will often steer you wrong.

People will often use dinosaurs to try to discredit the Bible, but the existence of dinosaurs actually proves the Bible correct. Dinosaur remains weren’t discovered until the 1800s, but we had already been told about behemoth and leviathan in the book of Job, which is one of the oldest books of the Bible.

“Canst thou draw out leviathan with an hook? or his tongue with a cord which thou lettest down?” Job 41:1

I don’t necessarily believe in every species of dinosaur or that they looked exactly how scientists say they looked. Obviously, they have found some large bones, and the Bible confirms the existence of enormous creatures, but I believe that a lot of the dinosaur species they tell us about today are fabricated to look more like missing links.

Some of those huge skeletons you see in museums have only one real bone. That said, there are certain things that they have actually found. I have no problem believing in the Woolly Mammoth and the Saber-Toothed Tiger, and I also believe that there were dinosaurs similar to what is now known as a Brontosaurus. Dragon legends and artwork seen in multiple cultures also support the existence of enormous land and sea animals living along side of humans.

What I have a problem with is how evolutionists depict certain dinosaurs in such a way to fit their agenda. I mean there probably was a huge dinosaur like Tyrannosaurus Rex, but they expect us to believe that it was so big and powerful yet had those scrawny, short arms. Not only that, but how stupid was T-Rex if it took millions of years for him to evolve into a pea-brained chicken?

Nobody can really know exactly what dinosaurs were like based on a few random bones, but everything I need to know about dinosaurs, I get from Job 40 and 41.

“Behold now Behemoth which I made with thee...”

That proves right there that man and dinosaurs existed together. God puts things like that in the Bible for a reason. He knew people would later say that dinosaurs were prehistoric, so he made sure to mention that they were created on the same day as humans.

Here is a sermon to go with this article.

The Pre-Trib Mafia

Pastor Dewey Williams: Pre-Trib Rapture Enforcer

All my life I wanted to be a foreign missionary, but instead, I decided to start a church here in the United States. The reason I changed my mind is that I realized how the current missions system works. To raise enough support, I would need to go around getting support from various churches and somehow please them all. I knew that I was not going to be able to do that because my preaching would not be popular among a lot of independent fundamental Baptists.

One of the issues that I knew would be a deal breaker is that I do not believe in the pre-trib rapture. I believe the Bible when it says the rapture will take place immediately after the tribulation. I’ve talked to tons of people who have come to the same conclusion--including other IFB pastors and missionaries. Many of them are in the closet about this since they know that making their true position known would result in losing friends or financial support.

Case in point: Pastor Ram Angad down in Guyana recently lost virtually all his support just for associating with me, because I’m not pre-trib. They wanted him to publicly denounce me as a false teacher and say he believes in the pre-trib rapture, which he refused to do. Unfortunately, Pastor Ram did eventually switch back to his pre-trib position, but it was too late. His mission board won't take him back. Here is a pdf of the disgusting exchange between Ram Angad and his mission board director Chip Stowe, which is like an exchange between 2 devils (Chip's words are highlighted with yellow; the rest is missionary Ram Angad).

I personally would not separate with someone over the issue of the rapture just because they happen to be pre-trib. I would even attend a pre-trib church if it was the best church in the area, but many pre-trib Baptists will separate from post tribbers as if the timing of the rapture was a salvation issue or something.

The reason certain people are so vicious about this issue is because they don’t want anyone to discuss it openly. They want to use fear and intimidation to keep people from bringing up this issue because they cannot prove their position with the Bible. The tactics they resort to remind me of the mafia.

When I started my church, I was advised to wait a while before preaching that the rapture will take place after the tribulation. I decided that I would instead go on the offensive. I went ahead and preached on that subject within the first few months of our church’s existence because as an independent Baptist, I only answer to God.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the pre-trib rapture is not found in scripture, so there are a lot of us out there who are post trib. Unfortunately, most pastors and missionaries are afraid to speak up if they aren’t pre-trib, which causes the post-trib doctrine to seem uncommon among mainstream IFBs. Maybe if more of us spoke up, it wouldn’t be such a taboo subject in independent fundamental Baptist circles.

That having been said, if you go to a church where the pastor is pre-trib, you shouldn’t be rude about it. The Bible teaches that we should treat pastors with respect. Discuss it in a kind and humble way with your Bible in hand or perhaps encourage him to watch After the Tribulation and see what he thinks. If he still wants to be pre-trib after hearing those 91 verses we used in the documentary, then just agree to disagree.

If you are a pastor or missionary who is post trib, you need to come out of the closet and preach a sermon or perhaps an entire series on end times prophecy. This isn’t something to break fellowship over, but we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it either. Let’s get a dialogue going and show these pre-tribbers that their arguments won’t hold up in an open discussion.

Click here to watch the documentary “After the Tribulation,” which has the pre-trib mafia running scared.

Man of God in Cape Town, South Africa

Pastor Oscar Peter Bougardt is a friend of ours in Cape Town, South Africa, who has a heart for feeding people both physically and spiritually. Pastor Bougardt is the only pastor in South Africa who defended us when we were attacked in the media and eventually banned from the country. Like me, Pastor Bougardt has repeatedly gotten flak from the media over the last few years for the biblical stand he takes against the Sodomite agenda.

Pastor Bougardt Recently Visited Faithful Word Baptist Church

Pastor Bougardt took a trip out here a couple of months ago, and stayed here in Phoenix, Arizona, for about two weeks. He came to our church and went soul winning with me and other people from Faithful Word Baptist, both here in the Phoenix area as well as on some nearby American Indian reservations. Pastor Bougardt is a great guy, and my family and I enjoyed getting to know him during his visit.

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Proverbs 27:17

Pastor Bougardt has Soul-Winning Opportunities

The reason I am bringing this up is that there are a lot of people in South Africa who listen to my sermons online and have expressed an interest in soul winning. Here’s a guy in South Africa who wants to do more soul winning and is starting up some soul winning programs in his church. He has even scheduled some special soul-winning marathons in the very near future.

Calling all South African Listeners

I won’t be able to participate in these Cape Town, South Africa, soul-winning events since I have been banned from South Africa, but I’ll be praying that Pastor Bougardt has a great turnout and sees many people saved. If you are in South Africa and would like to get involved in organized soul winning and have some local fellowship, I encourage you to visit Pastor Bougardt's church or at the very least attend the upcoming soul-winning events scheduled for January 28-29 and February 4-5.

Please get in touch with Pastor Oscar Peter Bougardt for more information about his church and the various soul-winning opportunities. Here is his contact info, so that you can get in contact with him:

https://www.facebook.com/pastor.bougardt?fref=ufi
pastor.bougardt@gmail.com
+27213930608

“The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.” Proverbs 11:30

Here is a sermon to go with this post.

Soul-winning Out of Season

"Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine."" 2 Timothy 4:2

Jacksonville, Florida

FWBC will be holding a soul-winning marathon in Jacksonville, Florida, on January 14, 2017, which is a Saturday. Brother Tyler Baker, who will be starting a church in August of 2017, will be heading up the marathon. Brother Tyler Baker is the deacon at Faithful Word Baptist Church and is a dynamic preacher and seasoned soul winner. You can meet up with him that morning at 9 a.m. at Panera Bread in River City Marketplace in Jacksonville, Florida. The address is 13271 City Station Drive, Jacksonville, FL. They’ll have breakfast from 9 to 10 and then a soul winning session until lunch at 1:00 at that same Panera Bread. At 2:00, they’ll head back out for another round of soul winning. Then they’ll meet up again at 4:30 to figure out the day’s totals and do some baptisms.

If you live in that area or are thinking about relocating to be a part of Valiant Baptist Church, this would be a great opportunity for you to get to know your future pastor, Brother Tyler Baker, as well as some of the other people who are waiting to be a part of this exciting new church. Even if you won’t be living close enough to attend the church, these soul winning marathons are always a great time of fellowship with like-minded believers from all over the United States and Canada.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

I will personally be leading a soul-winning marathon on Friday, January 20, 2017, in Minneapolis, Minnesota. We will be meeting at Panera Bread at 6064 Shingle Creek Parkway, Minneapolis, MN, for breakfast and fellowship from 9am to 10am. We will then go out soul winning for a couple hours, and then we will be back at Panera for lunch from 1pm to 2pm. After lunch, there will be another round of soul winning followed by another meeting and baptisms.

What to Expect

These January soul-winning marathons will be just like the soul winning marathons that have been held in other cities including Boston, MA, Portland, OR, Atlanta, GA, etc. There is a great spirit of fellowship at these events. Don’t worry if you have never been soul winning before. Just show up and be a silent partner. We’ll pair you up with someone who knows what they are doing. At most of these events we find a place to baptize people afterward, so if you are saved but have not yet been baptized, bring a change of clothes.

Dress Warm

I realize that it is winter time and cold--especially in Minnesota, but I lived in the Chicago area for a few years, so I know what it’s like to go soul winning in sub-zero weather. Unfortunately, in a lot of churches, they get too picky about the temperature and don’t do enough soul winning. Some churches only end up knocking doors for about seven months out of the year.

One of the problems with canceling soul winning when it is either too hot or too cold is that not enough work gets done. Not only that, but people get out of the habit. When you haven’t been soul winning in a while, it can be hard to get back into it. You’ll fill up your schedule with other things or get rusty on presenting the gospel.

There is no loophole in the Great Commission that allows us to take a sabbatical during inclement weather. When it’s cold, we dress warm, and when it’s hot, we wear hats and stay hydrated. Lord willing, we will continue to hold these soul-winning events across the country year-round.

Here is a video from our last soul-winning event in Boston

Positive Only Parenting

“Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” Proverbs 23:14

When kids don’t get spanked, it shows in their behavior, but the stakes are a lot higher than just the embarrassment this causes. Children raised without any real consequences will have a hard time understanding the reality of hell. It’s bad enough that people aren’t spanking their children, but there’s a school of thought out there that says not to discipline them at all.

Several years ago, some friends of mine were looking into a parent participation preschool for their daughter. The pre-school taught phonics, so people wanted the low-cost education and a couple of hours of babysitting, but there were a few requirements to get into the program. One of those requirements was that you had to attend parenting classes taught by the preschool director, “Miss Mary Beth.”

Mary Beth taught that you should never even say no to children, and she gave an example scenario. She said that if one child throws sand in another child’s face we don’t tell them they’ve done something wrong. Instead, we just say, “Let’s try that again and see what we could have done differently.” My friends were shocked at the lack of common sense from this woman who was revered by some of the other parents as some kind of childcare guru. The Mary Beth mentality has led to a generation that cannot be corrected.

“Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.” Proverbs 23:13

Not only are parents withholding correction, but they are compounding that error by lavishing their children with unwarranted praise. We live in a day where people are giving children affirmation whether they do well or not. You go out in public and you hear these parents saying, “Good job, good job,” and you’re scratching your head wondering what the child did that was so great. Praising your children is part of being a loving parent but will mean more when it is reserved for times when they do something special or something without being told.

“But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and sit down to meat? And will not rather say unto him, Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken; and afterward thou shalt eat and drink? Doth he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I trow not. So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do." - Luke 17:7-10

Thanking kids when they hand you something models common courtesy and gets them into the habit of saying thank you themselves, but don’t thank them for brushing their teeth or taking out the trash. People have gotten into the habit of thanking their children for just basic obedience. Conforming to a society that hands out participation trophies and overlooks inappropriate behavior is detrimental to our children’s development because the Bible teaches that we ought to be the kind of people that can handle criticism.

“Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.” Proverbs 9:8

When children are constantly affirmed, they grow up unprepared for the real world, and they certainly aren’t prepared to come to church and hear hard preaching. Stop thanking your children for obeying you. When they express foolish things, don’t ignore that. The Bible says “correct thy son.” Spank them like the Bible says, and if you are homeschooling them, it’s okay to tell them they failed an assignment. Instead of praising them for the minimal effort they put in, have them do it over again and get it right.

Here is a sermon to go with this article