Thursday, March 28, 2013

Leadership Tips for Husbands - Part 1

In 2013 America, we no longer have a culture of husbands ruling their houses. Television and popular culture have taught us as men to be weak and to let our wives take charge in the home. The result of this is that both husbands and wives are unhappy, and 75% of marriages will end in divorce. Christians today have bought into the marriage philosophies of the world and are therefore experiencing the same miserable failure as the world around them.

As husbands today who want to have a happy marriage that is patterned after the Bible, we are facing a steep uphill battle. Practically everything and everyone around us are working against us. Whether or not we would like to admit it, both we and our wives have been brainwashed by the world our entire lives, and it can be very difficult to undue that programming and step into our proper role of leadership in the home as men. The current situation is not the fault of women. Deep down, they have a natural desire to submit to and follow their husbands. When a husband steps into his proper role as head of household, his wife will follow his lead and be much happier as a wife.

This blog series will focus on creating a culture of male leadership in the home by making small changes in your everyday life. Some of what I cover will be biblical, but some will simply be my personal opinion. The goal is not to tell you what to do or teach for commandments the doctrines of men. The goal is to help you as a husband to create the right atmosphere in your home and the right dynamic in your marriage. If you find any of my suggestions not to be helpful or to be wrong for you, then just ignore them. Again, I am not necessarily covering the big things or the most important things. I am covering the little things because I have learned over the years that little things can make a big difference.

I am sure that I will be mocked and criticized for many of the things that I suggest, but it is worth it to me if I can be a small help to a husband that is struggling to take the lead in his home. Keep in mind as you read that these tips are as much about changing your attitude as they are about changing the attitudes of your wife and children. My suggestions will be in no particular order.

1. Dress Nicely at Home 

There is a reason why the boss at work dresses better than all the other workers. It is because he knows that wearing casual or slovenly clothing will weaken his leadership and cause those with whom he works to treat him with less respect. I have on two different occasions boarded an airplane with a ticket for coach and been upgraded to first class just because of the way I was dressed. I have noticed that when I do service calls for my fire alarm business, the nicer I am dressed, the better I am treated by my customers.

If you want to be treated like the boss in your home, start dressing like you are the boss. I, like you, work hard at my job and have a tendency to dress down when I have time off at home. However, I resist the temptation to lounge around the house in shorts and a t-shirt and opt instead for pants, shirt, belt, socks, and shoes, in order to look as classy as possible. Save the athletic clothing for when you are performing athletic activities. Look your best for the people you love the most. Don't be afraid to put on a shirt and tie for a family lunch or dinner. Dressing well will not only send a message to those around you that you are a serious leader, it will also change your mentality and help you to be mentally prepared to take charge and lead.

To be continued...

Note: if you have not already listened to this sermon, I suggest you listen to it before going any further.


Lindsey Hood said...

Doesn't that make a lot of laundry for your wife? I mean, obviously that's what she is there for, but if she is stuck doing difficult-to-care-for laundry, like slacks and nice shirts that you can't just toss in the wash, she won't have as much time to cook, clean, and care for you and your children.

Leadership Coaching said...

Focus is also a leadership skill. It allows someone to set aside distractions, and concentrate on priorities and the task at hand. It is an important trait for teens to learn, as they deal with many distractions in their lives. With focus, a person and his or her team can reach their goals in spite of difficulties or problems.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

"If you want to be treated like the boss in your home, start dressing like you are the boss."

WOW, just WOW...

The love of a husband for his wife is like that of Christ for the Church. It's a sacrificial love and NOT one that desires to LORD over them our treat them as less than equal before the Lord.

idahohunter45 said...

^Literally in the same chapter of the verse you just referred to says for wives to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. It's both. Just because Jesus has sacrificial love for us does that still not make him our BOSS? "Wow, just wow" read the whole chapter.
Ephesians 5:22-25 KJV

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Anonymous said...

I submit to my husband and I love how you said in a sermon that these women who won't submit to husband submit to their employers. Strange how unbiblical some so called Christians are today.